his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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