So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
