Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize