What a fucking waste of an outfit
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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