Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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