worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
