the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
