We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
