And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
