I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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