If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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