I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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