We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
