I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
