Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
