I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
