after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Rumble strips road head = magical
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
