The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
