And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
