Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
