Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
ok first of all what the fuck
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
