Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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