Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
