why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
