But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize