Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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