does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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