the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
