Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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