just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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