i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
