you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
