ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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