my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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