Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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