i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Houston, we have a blender
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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