I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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