The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
