Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
