Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
