Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
