she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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