i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
