I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
