their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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