Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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