I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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