He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize