Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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