he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
