I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
