Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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