and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
