I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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