yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
wanna go halves on a baby?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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