They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
