This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
