They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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