I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
