come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
