My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
