Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
