i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
