Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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