return my video game
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
