why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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