There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I want to stick my p in your. b.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
