I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
MIDGETS
????
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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