Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
