They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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