physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
